Howard Markman, a professor of psychology and head of the Family and Family Learning Center at the University of Denver, said, "The quality of pre-marriage dialogue is one of the best predictions of the financial success of the future." Why is this so?
You see, in every marriage, the personal differences between the spouses are necessarily emerging. Not the difference that matters, it matters that these differences are dealt with and resolved. The correct solution of the differences requires good communication skills. In order to develop these skills you need to understand miscommunication as the first.
The Creation of Mission Communication
Good communication is where all the communication elements of the speaker are received by the student in the same way. The elements of (oral) communication are as follows:
o motives or intentions
o non-linguistic expressions (voice, sound, spelling, loud voices, loud voices, etc.) o Physical expressions, eyes, body language , posture, etc.)
o Linguistic terms (what they say, what they are saying and what they do not say)
All four elements combine to form the meaning of communication. A good communicator is able to transmit all four elements equally, so that the host can understand exactly the same. I mean not only understanding the meaning of spoken words, but, more importantly, understanding of intent was understood by the loudspeaker. A real incident illustrates the cruel distinction between rumor and speaker intent.
A husband told his wife about a particular case: "We're too overwhelmed in this." Her husband meant that her wife had not done enough and had to do more. But when the wife heard the word "smug", she interpreted it as "lazy" and meant that her husband accused her of laziness and did nothing. As a result, he was painful and angry. You see? Good communication when the speaker means that the student understands the student in the same way. If this does not happen, there is a misunderstanding. So do what's needed for your spouse to know exactly what it means. If you need to use alternative communication methods (such as Writing) to clarify speech, do so. In addition, we need to remove some common communication blockers.
Some of these communication blockers are listed in the following categories:
There is no better communication than conflict or argument. These exercises are blockers of communication that spoil the arguments:
o The past should be raised in arguments.
o Hard to say, "I'm sorry."
o Takes responsibility to your spouse and always needs to be right
o Conflicts last for days or weeks.
o We tend to react too much with shouting, crying, or leaving the house.
o You want to win every argument, you can not find a solution.
o Hard to wait for your spouse to finish the conversation before speaking.
o You become defensive when your spouse gives you a critique.
When arguments warm up, communication is interrupted.
o You are willing to laugh or ridicule your spouse and are generally disrespectful of it.
o The spouse is disturbed by how he annoys him.
o You are too stupid, without taking into account your spouse's feelings. If your spouse does not know anything about the subject, let him know.
No one loves to communicate with a sarcastic man. So if you are so, your spouse would be very difficult to communicate with you.
o Always talking about the negative side of things. This prevents communication because your spouse does not want to continue the conversation with you, spiced with your pessimism.
o You hold your feelings in Magadon and you feel that your secrets are ok.
o You are afraid that sharing the most personal thoughts with your spouse allows you to abuse them (for example, sharing them with others).
o You feel that your spouse needs to know what he wants without saying it. You often do not tell what you think or feel.
o By emotionally disabling conflict avoidance.
These poor habits prevent communication by isolating themselves from their spouse. The elimination of negative communication blockers must be complemented by the inclusion of positive elements of good communication. Who are they?
Good communication not only means talking clearly but effectively listening. What does effective listening mean?
first Good eye contact. The eyes are the window to the soul. It is possible to know the eye with intent and degree of sincerity. So when you hear it, look at the spouse in your eyes as you speak.
2nd Humility is without prejudice, without the preconceived notions and judgments. Do not assume that you know what your spouse is saying, even if he says what he has heard before. Repetition on its part simply means that the question in question is still bothering him. Allow your spouse to finish the conversation without interrupting it.
3rd Listen to what they are talking about, including the feelings behind the words. Do not filter out a part of the sentences or say the sentences. Do not dream or dive. Do not count what you will say and repeat the answer in your mind while your spouse is still talking
4. As your spouse is talking, put yourself in the position. Empathize and try to feel how it feels. Understand not only the meaning of spoken words but the feelings your spouse experiences. Observe spoken and non-spoken terms. This will allow you to understand exactly what it is all about.
Good communication is so vital to all matrimonial relationships. There are many conflicts arising from misunderstanding and misunderstanding. Therefore, cultivating good communication skills is a long way to overcoming conflicts and ultimately for getting a successful marriage.
Source by SBOBET